This happened 6 years ago, but it is still oh so fresh…..
You, the young family out for an evening with your two young, maybe 2 and 3 year old children. Me, in the next booth trying to enjoy a night at Moondog with Carla and my friend Candy. You, not paying attention to your Satan’s spawn as he runs in place on the wooden booth seat and kicks at the back of my seat.
You, carrying on a conversation with your hubby whilst the other youngster makes a high pitched “most annoying sound in the universe”. I swear, it sounds like a dolphin in a wood chipper fighting a feral cat in heat over a can of starkist.
You sit there not noticing the hard stares from the other patrons of Moondog or how the waitstaff keeps looking at said customers with that, “it’s awful but what can we do” look. They know if anyone says anything to you about the incorrigible behavior of your lovely young sacks of meat you will be quite huffy and puffy and inform us of how well behaved your progeny is and that we don’t understand modern parenting techniques.
You sit there and chew your cud as your moppet begins tapping me on the head. Yes, little johnny is turned around in his seat, whacking me on the head and tousling my hair and you don’t even notice. I nominate you for “horrid incapable uninterested abhorrent parent of the year.” He was throwing napkins at my table, balling them up and throwing them over the booth and you said nothing!Get a clue and learn to parent.
Did you not hear the sigh of relief when you and your husband gathered the running heathens and marched them from the establishment? Or at our looks of horror when 10 minutes later you returned because little johnny had left his toy. “Ay dios mio”, we all thought, are you coming back for desert?
In the future, please do us all a favor and announce your intentions as to when and where you plan to eat your victuals. I want to ensure that I am not even in the same zip code as your rabid progeny.
Just in case I used too many words of more than one syllable and you do not comprehend what I am enunciating, let me be quite non-obtuse, clear and unambiguous: You Suck as a Parent.